Thursday, February 4

BLog template ?

I completely Hate my blog template !

I've been browsing all over for a new one, something that is more Me .. and since i'm a total blonde in the whole HTML department this is taking longer than it should. Grr.

Any tips and tricks would be much appreciated !

For now, please bare with me lol

    Crystal x

Wednesday, February 3

A little rambling

Hello all you beautiful people,

 First i want to thank those who left me sweet comments and followed me, i really didn't think anyone would be interested in my blabbing but yeah .. your words gave me a little push <3

So, more about me ?
Since i don't know who I've become lately I'm not sure if i should describe the old me or the new-in-between me, i think the whole point of this blog is to figure myself out so i'm gonna write down some basic facts about me, how about that for a start...Easy!

Lets see ..

  • I love making lists, as u already can see lol 
  • i'm a perfectionist, can get a bit tiring though
  • Tremendously emotional and sympathetic 
  • Very tough exterior and an even softer interior!
  •  I'm in-your-face kind of honest, which often gets me in trouble
  •  i have zero tolerance for bullshit
  • i like to think i'm 'Creative' sometimes 
  • A little of a Hippie 
  • A health freak
  • i crave mess and energy in my life, boredom kills me 
  • Hardcore Feminist!
  • Very moody
  • I strongly believe every girl should be treated like a princess and i wouldn't settle for less
  • Life is short, therefore i'm crazily spontaneous  
  • I'm terrible at making decisions

I don't know where i am in my life right now, the word lost & confused describes me exactly! Everything i wanted to achieve i've lost all behind, the path i worked for had decided to disappear and throw me in the middle of another one that's not mine.. it's like i'm back to High school senior all over again, the Start the "Beginning" of Something! I'm the type that MUST have a plan, for anything and everything or i would simply panic.. So guess what happens when my master plan was erased out of no where and all of a sudden? Yes, Panic .. and I've been panicking for the past months now.

You would say make a new plan, So what! "It's not the end of the world" .. Well i've been comforting myself with these words for a while now.. But it's not that easy, not because i'm a quitter, not because it's a new place, but mainly because i lost myself, i woke up 4 months ago Not Believing in myself, i don't believe i can do it. For me that's a major thing since my kick-ass confidence is what keeps me facing everything around me, when i lost that it felt like i lost everything else along with it.

So i did what sounded right at the time, disappear..

I Disappeared for good 3 months or so, from everything i know friends family life, i simply locked myself in my room and slept it off .. How can i face those around me when i have Zero self-esteem ? i can't pretend i'm fine when i'm clearly not.. although i did it so many times before i should know how, but this time it was different, just different..

With me, i have always known i'm surrounded with people who hate my guts, shake my hand front of me and stab me in the back with another, but i never minded it because they'll never see me falling, they can die in their jealousy i'll still soar. So naturally when the worst happen they'll be the first to make things even worst, as emotional as i was/am it will totally get to me. Disappearing was the best option along with the i-don't-give-a-fuck attitude.

There is just so much to explain and let out of my system, this whole post might not make alot of sense. I don't promise the coming posts will make any sense either lol... Anywho, here is a draft of what i want to post about next (Gosh i can't help but Plan lol!).

My luck with friends. 
Messy Love affairs.
My life back in Boston.
My dysfunctional family ?
The Kuwaiti culture shock

 Stay positive, Much love
            Crystal  xx